The First Ride

I had an epiphany today. Well, "epiphany" might be an overstatement, but it was still an unexpected insight into the inner workings of my subconscious.

I was talking with a co-worker about biking. He's totally into it. I used to be.  But now I'm not sure where I stand.  He was talking about his ride this weekend - first time out this season and he can't believe how out of shape he is.  I mentioned that I don't know when I'll be back out there. In fact, I don't even know if I'll be back out there.

How sad, for something I used to look forward to and love, I'm now saying that I don't know if and when I'll be out there.

Anyway, at that very moment it occurred to me:  If I'm to get back out on my bike again, I have to have a first ride of the season.  And what happened last year during my first ride of the season?  I had a very hard fall.  I was lucky and have recovered well, but I still can't shake the memory.

Even though I just passed the one year "anniversary" of that day, my recovery has been prolonged by two recent root canals in teeth damaged by the accident. And next month, the plastic surgeon will remove what she believes is a piece of lingering gravel in my top lip.

To everyone else, thankfully, I look the same.  But it's been hard work to get there - over 2,000 hours of wearing a steroid tape (which looks like scotch tape) on my upper lip and over 50 hours (in 10 minute increments) of lip massage, both to prevent and minimize scarring.  I'm really pleased with the results, but it's still not my old face.

So there it is:  the first ride is my block.  I just need to figure out if and when I can get past it.